Sometimes I wonder if I am too empathetic. My heart breaks when other people are hurting, almost if its happening to me personally. The pain is overwhelming as I see people being mistreated, abused, used etc… can one be “too” empathetic?
You may be wondering from the title what this has to do with anything, and we will get there. But first we must talk about The Neverending Story. This was my favorite movie as a kid and still holds a special place in my top 10. There is a scene in that movie where the boy warrior Atreyu is forced to face the person that he truly is via looking in a mirror that may make “good men find out they are really evil.” Etc… Atreyu is horrified by what he sees.
I bring this up not just to reference a great scene in a great movie, but because I wonder if many people would see what they expected when forced to face themselves. I also wonder if those who have trouble “coming to God” or facing God are really more scared that God will make them face who they really are. C.S. Lewis states, “ It is safe to say the pure in heart shall see God because only the pure in heart want to.”
There is no denying that humans have a huge problem with selfishness. Especially in today’s culture. Especially in America. This is why the news is almost unbearable to watch. This is why television and “reality” shows often make me sick to my stomach. This is why the divorce rate in our country is 54%, even amongst Christians.
We live in a culture of every man for himself and immediate gratification. No marriage or relationship in general can survive in such a hostile environment. So where does porn come in? The problem is that porn does not usually come into the conversation of the church. Or in the conversation of marriage counseling. Or the conversation amongst oneself admitting that it could possibly be the problem or a least a huge contributing factor. Porn is killing marriages and wrecking people’s lives. Most churches do a great job at addressing the “sin” of divorce and a great job at sweeping the problem of porn under the rug. Since the internet became one of the largest facets of our lives, Porn has gone from something in shady back corner shops to something people can look at many times a day. Intimacy is endangered with porn entering into the marriage relationship. Intimacy is one of few things that a couple shares exclusively within a marriage. It is part of the glue that holds a marriage together. How can a marriage not be pushed to its breaking point when that bond is broken? When intimacy starts existing outside a marriage, it gets polluted. Both people in a marriage experience its effects and the roots of a marriage begin to die.
How do we has a church begin to address whats really there? In her book “How Porn Destroys Lives,” Pamela Paul writes, “There was a 2000 survey that Focus on the Family did that found that 18% of people who call themselves born-again Christians admit to looking at porn sites. A chaplain named Henry Rogers who studies pornography estimates that 40 to 70% of evangelical men say they struggle with pornography.”
Is it not our duty as the church to help the marriages of our people thrive by addressing what the real issues are? Even if they are shameful and “not appropriate” for our the “conservative Jesus?” Like Atreyu, it maybe the hardest thing we ever do to look in the mirror of truth, but it is that which will save our people.
Check out www.xxxchurch.com for more info on the porn issue and accountability.
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